The biggest lessons come from the most extraordinary of circumstances. The past year has been my most significant in terms of personal growth. It could never have happened without the 3 or 4 years I struggled through before finding myself running and hiding from a terrorist in November last year (2008). I truly had to bottom out before I could begin my ascent.
The fading light of 2008 saw the ushering out of a period in my life that I was glad to see the back of. It was happening like so many new years eves previous; a few drinks with friends before heading down to see the fireworks display on the river. I was still pretty shaken up from the events in Mumbai a little over a month before however I had taken some pretty positive steps and I felt like I had turned a corner. I had every reason to celebrate - I was alive and I was with good friends. We finished up at the holiday house and began making our way down to the river to see the fireworks. I was a few steps behind my friends and feeling pretty pleased with life when I heard a 'boom' then 'crack, crack, crack'. I froze. I knew (rationally) what I heard was peaceful however hearing this brought back the recent memories of Mumbai. My 2009 began with tears streaming down my face. I was frozen in fear. Not exactly how I had planned to start a year that I anticipated was going be great. I know that we often use the new year as a starting and stopping point for things however i was clearly in a 'through' point. This turned out to be one of three major episodes of post traumatic stress that I would go on to experience. My good friend Lins realised I wasn't with them and figured out pretty quickly what was happening and came back to help. I had to go through the next two on my own. They were both fairly similar experiences which I thought someone was shooting at my house. I again thought it probably PTS but it was so real I had to get certainty. On one occasion I layed and waited until daylight before going outside to see if there were any bullet holes in my walls or empty casings on the road. Like with so many other things in life I needed some help. I did exactly that and thankfully loud noises gradually became just that and not a threat to my life.
From here I basically got my head down and trained. I got plenty of things wrong like doing too much, going too hard or the opposite in some cases. I got sick, I got healthy again. I won my age in the Dean and Dave race triathlon which doubled as my birthday in April - my best one yet. I got a third in the 30-34 in the Port Half Ironman. I was starting to get fit again. I would wake up every morning throughout winter and be excited to get out training. It had taken on a whole new meaning. No longer was training about winning races (though this was on my mind). Training was food for my soul. I particularly loved the winter runs with the Blue Mountains Marathon Clinic (BMMC). At that time of the year we would stop and have a stretch at one of the lookouts on our run and see the sunrise over a chilly Sydney. We would then descend into the Nepean basin before returning up the escarpment to start another working day. This is why I now run and how I live the 'healthy mind, healthy body' mantra.
I am now less than 14 weeks from my first Ironman. I am training really well and resting when I need to. I have also managed to drop ego from my training as I keep my eyes firmly fixed on the prize. A couple of weeks ago I had a big week of training finishing up with a firm 110km lap of cobbity (bike obviously) on Saturday. In the afternoon we had the Matt Fisher race (unofficially now). It was my first one as I quit triathlons after he was fatally hit by a car out riding in 1998. I thought of him the whole race. I also felt how much pain I was in as the morning ride and week of hard training made it's way to my atherant senses. Man it hurt. Again I loved it. I got out for a 25km run the next morning and gave myself the afternoon off. The next week was also a good week of training before another solid weekend. Saturday started with a 110km easy bike with the fist, 10km run off bike and 3km bridge to bridge swim in the river. Sunday The fist and I rode the 160km loop which takes us to Bell and Mt Vic along Bells Line of Road. It is without doubt my favourite ride. It would want to be as we will be doing it every Sunday until the Ironman! I have also began to incorporate 'double run tuesday' into my program. It includes a 2hr+ run in the morning and a 1hour solid run in the afternoon. Talk about opening up your 'hurt locker'!
I have to go and meet the fist for a swim and ride now. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and remember 'dream, believe, create, succeed' - Marc Allen
Sleep’s 2012 Review
12 years ago